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| Damn, Hell musta froze over; 'Cause Mr. Vain is the wrong one (Bryan) | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 24 2007, 12:41 PM (154 Views) | |
| Mr. Vain | May 24 2007, 12:41 PM Post #1 |
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The sign on the door identifies the room beyond as belonging to Mr. Vain. Loud shouts can be heard from within the room. Whoever is behind the camera pushes the door open enough for the camera to see into the room. Vain is yelling into his cell phone. Vain – What do you mean there is no match? Mr. Vain has made the challenge, it’s been accepted, promo’s have been made and know you’re telling Mr. Vain there is no match! Vain paces in and out of view, ignorant of the camera’s presence. The person on the other end is talking and Vain is looking more agitated as he listens. Vain – Who’s got the match? Those Jackasses of Oblivion? How? Mr. Vain don’t care who their agent… it’s who? Fly Guy? How did he beat you? The camera man zooms in close enough that the audience can clearly see the spittle fly from Vain’s mouth. Mr. Vain listens to the voice on the other end again before pulling the phone away from his ear and holding it in front of his face with both hands. He’s gripping the phone so tightly it looks like he’s trying to choke it. Vain – Yeah? Yeah? Well, you can apologize to the unemployment line, because you’re fired! The phone explodes as Vain hurls it against the far wall. Vain – How did that Fly Guy Fat Bastard scoop Mr. Vain’s match? Vain turns towards the door and see the camera and the man holding it. Vain – You! Hawaiian Bryan – Howdy, Partner. Vain looks like he’s going to explode when… |
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| Hawaiian Bryan | May 24 2007, 04:15 PM Post #2 |
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Deleted.
Edited by Hawaiian Bryan, Jun 6 2016, 05:30 AM.
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| Mr. Vain | May 25 2007, 10:38 AM Post #3 |
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Mr. Vain takes off the flannel and drops the controller, he takes a few deep breaths (in through the nose, out through the mouth) and appears to calm down... somewhat. Vain – Alright. Mr. Vain accepts that you, or Bacon, or whoever, weaseled Mr. Vain out of His match. Mr. Vain accepts that He has to tag with you; Mr. Vain is learning to accept the things he can’t change. A few more deep breaths (in through the nose, out through the mouth) and stands up. Bryan shoots Vain a look wondering if this is the calm before the storm. Vain – And Mr. Vain knows just the thing to take the edge off. Vain walks over to the closet, rummages around a bit, and pulls out the Mosquito, still wrapped up in fly paper. Bryan – Hey, I know that guy. Why fly paper? Vain – Because he’s a Mosquito. Bryan shrugs and accepts. Vain – We, partner (Vain almost chokes getting the word out), shall work on some tag team business. Bryan – I like that, makes us sound official, partner (Bryan twists the word like a knife). Where are we going? Vain – Unimportant, just follow. Bryan – Hmm… evidently I’m a junior partner (Vain still cringes a little at the use of the word). Vain begins dragging the Mosquito out of but stops just in front of the door; he turns his head and looks at the camera. Vain – Oh yeah, Rookie, you can pi$$ off, you aren’t worth Mr. Vain’s time. The only reason we were fighting in the first place was because The Vain Event wanted to hurt someone and you were handy. So go and fight your jobbers and count yourself lucky you didn’t have to fight someone real. Bryan – YEAH! Vain – Shuttit! Vain walks through the arena, dragging the Mosquito by his foot, with H.B. following behind him tossing out various suggestions such as, “we should get matching outfits”, “what’s our theme music going to be”, “I should get all the pins”, and Vain resolutely ignores him. They leave the arena and arrive at an old van in the parking lot. Bryan – Is this the Mr. Vain shaggin’ wagon? Huh? Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Vain still ignores him and savagely pulls the sliding door opening and tosses the Mosquito in where he sticks to the far side with a SPUK! The inside of the van is bare, no seats, no flooring, just steel. Vain – In. Bryan – Umm… a very junior partner, it seems. Vain gets in and the front and back are separated by a mesh. Vain peels off (as much as the old PoS can peel). Vain drives through the city taking each corner hard but even bouncing around the back of the van doesn’t shut Bryan up; “All this bouncing around back here is making me need to pee”, “ahh, I’m stuck to the Mosquito”, “it’s okay, I’m not stuck anymore, leg hair, ouch, ouch, ouch.” Vain stops in front of a gym and gets out, throws open the side door, and pulls Mosquito out of the van. Bryan gets in front of him and stands his ground. Bryan – It’s been fun Vain, sort of, but I’m not going anywhere if you don’t tell me what, THE HELL, is going on. Vain – We are going to test/debut our new finisher. Bryan – Really? (Vain nods) We have a finisher? (Vain nods again) Awww, how sweet, you’ve been thinking about us. (Vain shakes his head) Vain – All Mr. Vain has been thinking about is winning the gold so we can end this. To win you need to finish, so Mr. Vain has come up with a finisher using two of our greatest assets. Bryan – And what are these assets? Vain – My strength, and your gravity well of an ass. Vain walks past Bryan and enters the gym, turning the lights on as he goes. It’s an old school gym, the kinda place Rocky would have trained in the movies. In the center of the room is a beat up wrestling ring. Vain walks up to the ring and tosses Mosquito over the top where he sticks to the center of the ring. Vain – Mosquito is our opponent, downed in the center of the ring. You Bryan, will climb to the second turnbuckle in the ring, while Mr. Vain will climb to the top of the same turnbuckle from the outside. Bryan considers for a moment, shrugs, and climbs to the second turnbuckle. Vain climbs to the top of the turnbuckle, and attempts to stick Bryan’s head between his legs. Bryan tries to fight him off. Bryan – Whoa big guy, we’re partners not PARTNERS. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Vain – Shuttit and trust. With a grunt Vain heaves Bryan into the air, into the powerbomb position and then leans forward off the top rope driving H.B. down. At the last moment Vain gives Bryan a little extra rotation so he lands on his ass instead of his head, directly onto the Mosquito. The air is driven out the Mosquito’s lungs so violently that the piece of flypaper over his mouth shoots into the air with a “POO!” Bryan watches the flypaper slowly flutter down in front of him. Mosquito – Ook. Bryan – I like it! What do you call it? Vain – That’s part of your homework. You get to name the move, though I may regret it, and you get to find our first opponents. Though Mr. Vain would love to start at the champs, we may need a warm up match or two. Bryan looks suspicious – Why do you want me to find someone to fight? Vain – Because there are very few people in this world that can resist the urge to beat the life out of you once you start bugging them. With that Vain slides out of the ring and starts to leave. Bryan attempts to get up but finds himself really stuck to the really squashed Mosquito. Bryan – Umm… stuck. Little help here. Hello? Vain? Partner? The lights go out, the doors close, and the van can be heard driving away. Bryan – Hmmm… who to pick… Mosquito – Heh, ouch, cool move, heh. |
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7:55 PM Jul 10