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Celebrity Celebration
Topic Started: May 1 2007, 08:37 PM (133 Views)
Chris Cash
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The Man In Black
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*We are taken up to the skybox shortly after Chronicles, where we see The Essential celebrating Mark Williams victory. Some celebrities, or at least look alikes, have made their way to the party as Chris Cash is holding a bottle of Tennessee Whiskey and begins to speak to the camera.*

Chris Cash: "Hello, I'm Chris Cash. Tonight, we gave all of you fans, and Hector Meroda exactly what they wanted. Not only a rematch between Hector and Mark Williams for the North American Title, but a chance to see Hector square off with me one on one in the ring. Apparently, Hector wasn't up for the task. He didn't have the heart or motivation to 'go through the entire locker room' to get to me. Its a shame really, because I was almost looking foward to fighting him. Thats why I came down to the ring early. I can't help it if my early arrival provided a distraction. Obviously, Hector wasn't as focused on the task at hand as he claimed to be or else the North American title wouldn't have slipped through his fat greasy fingers.I think Tyler Graham proved that Hector isn't even worth our time anymore when he hit him with a chair and walked out."

*Chris Cash pauses, as several people walk infront of the camera, and he takes a swig of his Jack Daniels. Then he continues.*

Chris Cash: "Now as I'm sure the rumors have run wild, I'd like to confirm that I am not scheulded to be on the card for Chronicles 91. But just because I don't have a planned match, doesn't mean I don't have a plan. As we all saw this past week, I always have a plan to give the undeserving fans what they want. So what do I have planned this week? If only I could tell you, and if only you could understand the greatness of what I have up my sleeve."

"And speaking of people with things up their sleeves, I hear Mark Williams will be fighting in the first ever, Sling match. Please Clark, are you so desperate for ideas that this is the best you can do? If Grimm is stupid enough to come after us in the condition that he is in, he deserves whatever punishment he gets. After all, this is the King of the Deathmatch we're talking about. I'm sure he is perfectally capable of playing through the pain. And just because he has a target on his arm, only makes our job of taking him out of commission a lot easier. But it is unfair to handicap Mark Williams because of Grimms physical inability to compete. whats next, since Grimm is obviously mentally handicapped, are you going to create some new way to make us on equal playing terms with that as well?"

"I have also noticed that Hector isn't on next weeks card. And can you blame him for not wanting to show his face? I can't. But I hope that you can llift your head up from wherever you are hiding it, long enough to see me make my public service announcement this week at Chronicles. I'm sure it is something that you will love to hear. That, it it also cound concern you and how you might be able to get your hands on me once again. You see Hector Merite, I am a merciful man and I have pity on the less fortunate. So be sure to turn in to Chronicles 91, for more of my master plan to be revealed. And also, to understand why there is nothing, better than Cash!"

*Chris Cash takes one more drink of his No 7, and continues to socialize with his A-List of fans and supporters*
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Hanibal
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Hollywood
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Just then, Hollywood Super Agent, Vinny Gold enters the skybox. He takes a long look around and then lets out a disappointed sigh. He notices Chris Cash. Cash approaches him.

Chris Cash: What are you doing here?

Vinny Gold, as arrogant as always, flashes the kind of asshole smile that only he can flash.

Vinny Gold: Ya know, Chris Cash, if that is you real name, I don't really know. You see, I was under the impression that this sky box here was full of A-List celebrities, but apparently what we've got here are a bunch of sad, pathetic look-a-likes. Now wonder you fit in so well.

Vinny Gold snatches a glass of cheap champagne from a nearby waiter. He takes a sip then spits it out.

Vinny Gold: Dear god, this shit is the best you could afford? Gee, you really know how to celebrate in style, chief.

Chris Cash: I don't think you answered my question, Vinny -- is it?

Vinny Gold: Actually, for you, its Mr. Gold and while we're on the topic of not answering each others questions, you see my boy Hani, I'm pretty sure you've heard of him before, in fact I'm sure everybody here has.

A Ted Dancen look-a-like (not a cardboard cutout to be mistaken for a ghost) who's been eavesdropping on their conversation pops his head into frame.

Ted Dancen look-a-like: I know I sure have! I celebrate his entire catalog!

Vinny stares down Ted Dancen look-a-like. Theres an uncomfortable silence as the Ted Dancen look-a-like awkwardly tip toes back off screen.

Vinny Gold: As I was saying, "Mr. Cash," my boy Hani, he posed a question to you a few weeks ago, one which you didn't seem to directly answer. Now Hani, he's a patient guy, he's waited for an actual response and I guess you were too chicken shit to respond directly so instead you slung around the same old, worn out, overplayed "Hanibal the cannibal" insults that he's heard time and time again. Really original. Thats the kind of material that will take you straight to the top.

Vinny Gold rolls his eyes

Vinny Gold: Anyway, since my being here will have most definitely have caused a massive drop in Hanibal's IMDB starmeter, I had better head out, besides I've got a meeting with Bruce Willis' people about yet another Die Hard sequel. Apparently the guy wants to bang out another one before he's too old. You have fun with your little look-a-likes Mr. Cash, Hani and I are gonna go celebrate with the real things.But if I see Tara Reid, I'll send her your way. As we say in the biz, Chow.

Vinny Gold exits the skybox. The Ted Dancen look-a-like slowly follows after him, in a creepy stalker sorta way, presumably to get a glimpse of the undefeated Gladiator Champion, Hanibal.
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