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NationStates
Topic Started: Sep 12 2006, 12:24 AM (4,043 Views)
XR
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King of Awesomeness
Child of the Sun
The Issue

After a recent survey discovered that nearly 40% of all citizens in Braves And Lolis are single, there has been an increasingly loud call for the legalisation of prostitution.
The Debate

1. "I just can't get a girl no matter what I do," laments acne-afflicted nerd, Calvin Summers. "If the cops would just look the other way about prostitution, it'd make my life much easier. Yeah, I'd be risking all sorts of diseases, but it's my body isn't it?"
[Accept]

2. "We can't allow this to happen!" protests Dr. Peggy Gutenberg, senior pathologist of Braves And Lolis's largest hospital. "Prostitution is a dangerous business and must remain illegal! People need to be more aware of the consequences that could follow like the risk of contracting HIV, chlamydia, or even syphilis. I say we get some funding for a large awareness programme on sexually transmitted diseases and maybe then people will act responsibly between the covers. It'll be expensive sure, but well worth it."
[Accept]

3. "Not so fast now!" interjects daring entrepreneur, George W. Bush. "Why don't we just have the prostitution industry run by the government? By letting the government regulate prostitution, Braves And Lolis can force any patrons to undergo tests for diseases, make prostitutes have regular medical check-ups and pay a portion of their profits to the government. Of course we'd still have to put more policemen on the streets to keep illegal brothels from popping up and make sure the hospitals are equipped to handle the extra workload, but you can always raise taxes to account for that."
[Accept]

The Government Position

It's about time he made some sensible suggestions.
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GaoZetaGar
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Now powered by dead souls and courage.

The Issue
A recent poll on putting up huge loudspeakers in Neo Master Asia's cities for public government broadcasts has been brought to your attention.

The Debate
"This idea is brilliant, and Neo Master Asia can't afford to pass it up," claims Thomas Mombota, your Minister of Safety. "These loudspeakers can assure the public that the government is always here to help them. The potential here, to immediately warn citizens of an emergency such as an earthquake or a stampede of fuunasakis or something, simply must be taken into account! This could save lives! And I suppose, when there isn't anything the citizens need to be told, you could always use them to broadcast patriotic messages like 'I AM SUPER ASIA! LAUNCH ME!' and inform the good people which party to join and vote for with newsbriefs and such. It'll be worth it to strengthen the populace's devotion to our glorious nation!"

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.



"I think people need to realise what this really is: brainwashing!" retorts Freddy Wu, a wealthy marketer. "I don't want to hear all this flag-waving hogwash everytime I go out for a walk. But when it comes to emergencies, I do agree that something should be done to warn everyone: we should send out messages on mandatory minature radios that you can carry in your pocket. It could tell you things you need to know too, like what shoes to buy and such."
[Accept]


"To be honest, I can't see why we should put up with advertising at all," says Elizabeth King, an anti-business protester. "All it is is some multi-billionaire or politician somewhere trying to make even more money while the rest of us struggle to make ends meet. I say we ban it. Maybe the economy will suffer a little and some people may lose jobs but that's just a minor side-effect really, especially when you consider that no longer will our children be encouraged to fill themselves with junk-food because some guy on the telly tells them it's cool!"
[Accept]


The idea of having public speakers blaring, "I AM SUPER ASIA, LAUNCH ME!" makes me go XD
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Homeless One
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Veda Terminal

Transsexual Demands Recognition In Chosen Gender
The Issue

After the tabloid magazine "The Bun" outed a supermodel to have been born male, the state has anulled her marriage to her husband.
The Debate

1. "I have gone through twenty years of internal pain about my external appearance and I put so much effort and money into finally having the world see the real me!" says transsexual activist Billy-Bob Nagasawa. "The government needs to recognize my true gender as well as cover the surgeries and medicines needed to get me where I am today!"
[Accept]

2. "Transsexuals are delusional if they think they will ever be members of their gender they wish they were." says right-wing radio show host Randy Dredd. "It is a biological fact that our gender is determined by our chromosomes, anyone who tries to act like the gender they are not should be immediately arrested and taken to a psychiatrist!"
[Accept]

3. "You know everyone, gender isn't a black and white proposition," states self-identified "genderqueer" Sue-Ann Broadside. "There are XX males, XY females, and many people who have ambigious sexual characteristics or just don't feel they belong in the category male or female, the government must recognize our existence!"

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.


Wow.
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GaoZetaGar
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Now powered by dead souls and courage.

:blink:
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Posted Image Zechs Merquise
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s-S-STOP, PULL IT OUT!!!

Well this one was sort of easy

The Issue

A monstrous debate between pro-life groups and pro-choice groups has erupted as a Hoshi_no_Tobira citizen launches an high-court appeal to overturn an ancient law prohibiting all abortions. Pressure groups have demanded the government step in to make a ruling.
The Debate

1. Dave Rifkin, lawyer for the woman known only as Miss X, says, "It is Miss X's right to choose! It's her body; she can do whatever she wants with it. In the interest of women's rights, abortion MUST be legalised throughout the country!"
[Accept]

2. "I most vehemently disagree," says Aaron Chicago, a pro-life activist. "I'm all for women's rights in general, but what about the child? Does it have no rights either? Abortion is totally immoral and I insist that it be outlawed except in cases of rape, or when the mother's life is in danger."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

3. "You're not going far enough! Abortion is murder!" shouts Reverend Freddy Wu, waving a placard with a picture of a foetus on it. "God decides which babies live and which will die, not us! The government must maintain a stern anti-abortion stance to preserve the morality of Hoshi_no_Tobira!"
[Accept]

4. "Abortion has to be legal if we're going to last as a nation," says Johann Wong, President of the Society of Bitter Old People. "Have you ever thought that with Hoshi_no_Tobira's growing population of 32 million, we soon aren't going to be able to squeeze any more people within our borders? If we use abortion to control the population, we'll make great savings and can spend the money elsewhere. One child per family should just about do it I think. Extraneous ones can be sold to other countries."
[Accept]

The Government Position

The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 2.


"It is Miss X's right to choose! It's her body; she can do whatever she wants with it.

It was also Miss X's right to choose whether or not to use a condom <_<
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Nabeshin III
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Proud owner of Nabesoft
You'll get abortions done in dark alleyways.
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Tangowr
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Almost as good as Lowe ^_^
A coalition of tribalists, health experts, and civil rights proponents have recently suggested legalizing cannibalism for consumers of willing would-be meals.

The Debate
"I see absolutely no problem with people digging into each other at dinnertime, so long as everyone is willing," Hope Wong, the editor of the monthly magazine 'To Serve Man', quips, "Not only does it solve hunger problems and create jobs, but it also adds variety to Type-Moon's sometimes dull palette."
[Accept]


Civil rights leader Steffan Trax came out publicly for moderate pro-cannibalism legislation, commenting, "While it may strike some as a crude, even evil practice, our ancestors have practiced cannibalism for years. If we create a government organization to strictly regulate and grade all human meat prior to its arrival on the market, we can ensure that respect for diversity is maintained while health concerns are also allayed. And instead of killing average people, why not make being turned into snack foods a post-mortem option? Like donating your body to science!"

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.


"You're all absolutely out of your minds!" exclaims Hope Mombota, head of Type-Moon's largest health-food manufacturer. "It's immoral, it's unhealthy, and it's disgusting. Not only are these so-called 'dietary rights' activists leading us down a dark path of sin, but right into a marketplace with yet another product that's almost as bad as beef!"
[Accept]
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Nabeshin III
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Proud owner of Nabesoft
A small nameless nation within your sphere of influence has gone on a genocidal rampage within its own borders, ridding itself of what their Supreme Ruler For All Eternity, Emperor May Jong-Il, refers to as 'those pesky Bigtopians'. Some escaped refugees are requesting that your government do something to end the slaughter of millions.
The Debate

1. "They're killing everyone!" gasps Jazz Longbottom, one of the refugees. "I implore you to please intervene and stop this murder of my people! If Nabeshin IV has any compassion at all then it must help us! With these madmen out of power we can finally go about rebuilding our nation as a land of justice and freedom!"
[Accept]

2. "Woah, woah, we can't just go around being a knight in shining armour for every random hell-hole on this planet," says Jennifer Mombota, your minister of Foreign Relations. "Should we send citizens of Nabeshin IV into war just so we can save a bunch of foreigners? I don't think so! Now, I'm no xenophobe, but I've gotta ask: what's in it for us? Nothing but the death of our soldiers and criticism from the rest of the region, that's what. Trouble is we're getting too much of a reputation for having a big army. So drop some of our military funding and let them fight their own wars. It's got nothing to do with us."
[Accept]

3. "Well, maybe this nation does have something we need, sir," says Roxanne Wu, your Military Advisor, while perusing a giant map of Nabeshin IV. "We're fast running out of land and resources here, so why not invade this place, kick out whoever's in power there, and take over? We've got the military power, so why wait? If any of those hippies in the region have somethin' to say about it, they can say hello to our missile programmes, haha!"

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

4. "They have as much right to their own internal politics as we do," says activist and peacenik Naki Chicago. "While their actions may be deplorable by our standards, we can't intervene unless the legitimate government requests it. It's just an invitation to anarchy on an international scale, and nobody but a few crackpots want that."
[Accept]


MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
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Homeless One
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Veda Terminal

When Gespensts Attack!
The Issue

After several reports of pet Gespensts violently attacking, injuring, and even killing citizens, there has been growing pressure from public safety activists for the government to take action.
The Debate

1. "These creatures are a danger to the public and must be destroyed!" says Jazz Christmas, representative of the Public Institution for Social Safety, Equality, and Direction. "I was attacked by one just on the way here and I nearly lost my life! They're a public menace. We must shoot and burn them!"
[Accept]

2. "Why punish the poor things?" asks animal-lover Sue-Ann Jones, covered in scars from previous encounters with Gespensts. "All they need is good hands to care and rehabilitate them. We need a government education programme to tame them and turn them into loveable pets. The one I'm holding right now shows that it can be done. They are all good, kind creatures deep d- argh!"
[Accept]

3. "I agree that we shouldn't kill them," says Billy Hanover, a famous lawyer. "But I don't think the owner should get away with breaking the law! This is clearly a case of 'intent to greviously harm' if I ever saw it. All citizens should be held accountable of their pet's actions as if they had done the act themselves. It's the only way to be fair - after all, they're just dumb animals."
[Accept]

4. "Who cares!?" screams Bianca Washington as he sends out his pirate radio station broadcast. "Just repeal any laws preventing us from shooting the things when they attack and we'll be able to save ourselves without this stupid, authoritarian, overbearing government and legal system wasting our tax money!"
[Accept]


This is funny mostly because a Gespenst is a giant robot.
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Lowe Gear
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HNH

1. "These creatures are a danger to the public and must be destroyed!" says Jazz Christmas, representative of the Public Institution for Social Safety, Equality, and Direction.

P...I...S...S...E...D....

Heh, clever. :P
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Posted Image Zechs Merquise
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s-S-STOP, PULL IT OUT!!!

Nabeshin III
Sep 29 2006, 12:59 AM
A small nameless nation within your sphere of influence has gone on a genocidal rampage within its own borders, ridding itself of what their Supreme Ruler For All Eternity, Emperor May Jong-Il, refers to as 'those pesky Bigtopians'. Some escaped refugees are requesting that your government do something to end the slaughter of millions.
The Debate

1. "They're killing everyone!" gasps Jazz Longbottom, one of the refugees. "I implore you to please intervene and stop this murder of my people! If Nabeshin IV has any compassion at all then it must help us! With these madmen out of power we can finally go about rebuilding our nation as a land of justice and freedom!"
[Accept]

2. "Woah, woah, we can't just go around being a knight in shining armour for every random hell-hole on this planet," says Jennifer Mombota, your minister of Foreign Relations. "Should we send citizens of Nabeshin IV into war just so we can save a bunch of foreigners? I don't think so! Now, I'm no xenophobe, but I've gotta ask: what's in it for us? Nothing but the death of our soldiers and criticism from the rest of the region, that's what. Trouble is we're getting too much of a reputation for having a big army. So drop some of our military funding and let them fight their own wars. It's got nothing to do with us."
[Accept]

3. "Well, maybe this nation does have something we need, sir," says Roxanne Wu, your Military Advisor, while perusing a giant map of Nabeshin IV. "We're fast running out of land and resources here, so why not invade this place, kick out whoever's in power there, and take over? We've got the military power, so why wait? If any of those hippies in the region have somethin' to say about it, they can say hello to our missile programmes, haha!"

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

4. "They have as much right to their own internal politics as we do," says activist and peacenik Naki Chicago. "While their actions may be deplorable by our standards, we can't intervene unless the legitimate government requests it. It's just an invitation to anarchy on an international scale, and nobody but a few crackpots want that."
[Accept]


MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I got that one last night. Choose the same as well
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PhoenixGundam13x
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The Angel with Charcoal Wings
Homeless-chan
Oct 3 2006, 02:47 PM
The one I'm holding right now shows that it can be done. They are all good, kind creatures deep d- argh!

Well what did you expect when you’re holding an object that is well over 4 times your size and weight.
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Imperial
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The Rolling Man
My country type has shifted from "Inoffensive Centrist Democracy" to "Democratic Socialist."

Oh, screw that. It's time to get my Republic on.
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Posted Image Zechs Merquise
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s-S-STOP, PULL IT OUT!!!

Quote:
 
The Issue

A peculiar confederacy of small-government advocates, regular attendees at Hoshi_no_Tobira's annual Medieval Faire, and the super rich have demanded that the government grant estates and confer titles of nobility upon certain influential persons.
The Debate

  1. "Of course I should be appointed as the Duke of Hoshi_no_Tobira City," says multi-billionaire Konrad Hendrikson. "Not only would it be an apt reward for my contributions to Hoshi_no_Tobira, but the citizens who become landed serfs on my estate would work harder than they ever have in all their lives." Adds small-government advocate Pete Wall, "Government would at last return to the local level, close to the people and the land to which they would be bound for life."
      [Accept]

  2. "I can't believe I'm hearing this," exclaims noted civil rights advocate Chastity Gutenberg. "Those who are behind this espouse a system that grants inordinate amounts of institutional power to the rich and ensures that no one will be able to climb the social ladder. Everyone in society must be granted an equal opportunity to succeed or fail. Say 'no' to a nobility!"
      [Accept]

  3. "I think both of the other parties are taking this issue to the extreme," argues a learned elderly gentleman resting on a park bench. "All that's being advocated is giving those who have contributed to their nation a ceremonial title and a bit of land. Besides," he adds, "the government can tax their estate."

      This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

  4. "A good day to thee, milord," counters Konrad Christmas, an amateur Medieval Faire actor dressed in period costume, "I would suggest that thou hasten thyself to spectate at the jousting competition this forenoon. Aye, quite a bout we have arrayed for thee this day. However, the whole affair could be much grander if only we received a few more gold crownes from the government. Aye, 'twould be a grand tourney of knightly skill and courage indeed!"
      [Accept]

The Government Position

The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 3.
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XR
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King of Awesomeness
Child of the Sun
The Issue

Increasing reports of child abuse and neglect in Braves And Lolis has prompted local pressure groups to call for 'parental licences'.
The Debate

1. "You need a licence to keep lolis or drive a car," points out local current affairs commentator, Naki Mombota. "So why should just any random idiot get to be a mother or father? It just doesn't make sense! If all potential parents had to pass tests to prove they're responsible enough, I'm sure you'd find that it would help decrease the level of child abuse, and increase proper discipline in the home."
[Accept]

2. "This is madness!" screams Bill Mistletoe. "You can't deny perfectly good people the right to bring life into this world! lolis manage it easily enough, and you can't tell me they've got more responsibility than your average upstanding citizen of Braves And Lolis! The government should keep out of such matters - I've always said social workers and welfare was a drain on the budget. Yes, there will be some sad cases of neglect, but shouldn't we be giving parents the benefit of the doubt?"
[Accept]

3. "The answer to this problem is patently obvious," says Bianca Nagasawa, your minister of Social Welfare. "The government simply needs to give more funding to the welfare department so that we can recruit more social workers to carry out regular checks on parents and judge whether or not they're doing a good job of looking after their children. It'll be expensive, but at least it's a damn sight fairer than licensing parents."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.


ECKS EFF DEE
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Posted Image Zechs Merquise
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s-S-STOP, PULL IT OUT!!!

I had almost started thinking noone was doing this anymore
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Nimbus
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Garnet

My country is still alive. The Nimbusopia2 one.
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s-S-STOP, PULL IT OUT!!!

Money money Money moneeeyy!!!

After a recent survey discovered that nearly 40% of all citizens in Hoshi_no_Tobira are single, there has been an increasingly loud call for the legalisation of prostitution.
The Debate

1. "I just can't get a girl no matter what I do," laments acne-afflicted nerd, Roxanne Licorish. "If the cops would just look the other way about prostitution, it'd make my life much easier. Yeah, I'd be risking all sorts of diseases, but it's my body isn't it?"
[Accept]

2. "We can't allow this to happen!" protests Dr. Larry King, senior pathologist of Hoshi_no_Tobira's largest hospital. "Prostitution is a dangerous business and must remain illegal! People need to be more aware of the consequences that could follow like the risk of contracting HIV, chlamydia, or even syphilis. I say we get some funding for a large awareness programme on sexually transmitted diseases and maybe then people will act responsibly between the covers. It'll be expensive sure, but well worth it."
[Accept]

3. "Not so fast now!" interjects daring entrepreneur, Buffy du Pont. "Why don't we just have the prostitution industry run by the government? By letting the government regulate prostitution, Hoshi_no_Tobira can force any patrons to undergo tests for diseases, make prostitutes have regular medical check-ups and pay a portion of their profits to the government. Of course we'd still have to put more policemen on the streets to keep illegal brothels from popping up and make sure the hospitals are equipped to handle the extra workload, but you can always raise taxes to account for that."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
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Nimbus
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Garnet

I think everyone chose that option for that issue.
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XR
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King of Awesomeness
Child of the Sun
I just keep continuing because the issues are fun to read. It's part of my daily dose of funny.
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AmuroNT1
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The man who destroys worlds and creates worlds
Museum Refugee
Recently, there has been increased commotion from your citizens about the possible health risks caused by using mobile phones.
The Debate

1. "Have you seen these statistics?!" yells anti-mobile lobbyist Thomas Steele, gesturing towards a wiggly line on a clipboard. "Mobile phones now kill more people in this country than exploding cupboards, the ironing board, and Godzilla put together! And that's not including the number of people who die every year from car crashes caused by chit-chat while driving! These things fry your brain with microwaves while you speak! We must ban mobile phones now!"
[Accept]

2. "This is utter nonsense," argues Miranda Licorish, CEO of Amber Phones, while nonchalantly slipping a wad of dollars into your pocket. "Mobile phones are totally harmless - I'll have you know that not one of our privately-funded studies has found the slightest bit of evidence to the contrary! Have you ever seen anyone drop dead in the street just because they were chatting on one of our new M/A models for sale now at low, low prices? No! It's just blatant scaremongering! I implore the government to dismiss these crackpots' complaints."
[Accept]

3. "I don't believe they're harmful either," says Charles Li, a teacher. "But it's obvious to everyone what a detrimental effect it has on our children! Everywhere I look, I'm seeing children as young as four tapping away at the blasted things! Do you know how many lessons I've had interrupted by the 'Crazy Dove' ringtone? Do you know how many of my pupils think 'great' is spelled with a number? Too many! Only adults should be allowed to own and use mobile phones!"
[Accept]


Oh no! It is Godzilla! My nation will surely be destroyed! ::lips continue moving::
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Posted Image Zechs Merquise
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s-S-STOP, PULL IT OUT!!!

The Issue

A group of Greenpeace protesters have called for an end to a government proposal to begin damming rivers in Hoshi_no_Tobira to increase water supplies and generate power.
The Debate

1. "Don't build dams!" shouts protestor Beth Falopian through a microphone heavily afflicted with feedback. "Do you know how many fish die in other dams in our region each year? Have you heard of the adverse effects building a dam has on the surrounding environment? Dam up this flood of dams, damn it!"
[Accept]

2. "Think before you open your mouth," says engineer Steffan Jones. "While Hoshi_no_Tobira may have to pay the price in animal diversity, as well as adverse effects on the environment, do we really want fossil-fuel based plants polluting Hoshi_no_Tobira? If you use your common sense, I think you'll find that damming some rivers would be a good idea. Plus, think of how much the economy would benefit from all the jobs these projects would create."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.


God damn hippies
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Nimbus
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Garnet

XD
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AmuroNT1
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The man who destroys worlds and creates worlds
Museum Refugee
Video Games Too Violent, Say Parents
Government Acts
The Issue

Recently, there has been an enormous commercial success for 'violent' video games such as 'Blood 'n' Guts 2: The Revenge', 'Tremor', and 'Grand Theft Tricycle'. Several parents' groups have been calling for tougher restrictions on these games.
The Debate

1. "We must outlaw these violent games immediately!" shouts Catherine Gratwick, a member of Mothers Ordered Against Nastiness, "These so-called 'games' are desensitising our children to violence and making them more aggressive. Why, just the other day I witnessed my son firing a missile launcher in a videogame and the next day he went out and robbed a bank! He may be thirty-five, but you can't possibly say it's a coincidence!"
[Accept]

2. "Oh noez!" cries DEATMASTER_69, one of Cinquede's foremost authorities on video games. "That's stupid! If a child is psychotic, it's not because they played 'Hellstorm of Fireblood 3' or whatever, it's because their parents were stupid enough to not teach little Johnny the difference between right and wrong and don't want to take the blame. Just because I like to n00k countries in games doesn't mean I like to shoot people in real life. That's false data! So just relax and let the kids play their games, hey?"

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.


3. "Why not rate games the same way we rate movies?" asks Melbourne Dredd, a spokesperson for the Cinquede Censorship Board. "We could give each game a content rating based on age appropriateness, and add descriptors on the box explaining why the game gets a certain rating. A little funding and we can stop children getting violent video games without affecting all the older 'gamers'. Everyone will be happy. Except tax payers, I guess."
[Accept]

4. "The children will manage to get their hands on the games anyway," says Zeke Hanover, a fitness instructor. "Parents can be so ignorant. In my opinion, the only damage these video games are causing is physical: kids are becoming less inclined to exercise, and it doesn't really matter if they are violent; the result is the same either way. The only way to get bums off seats is to ban all video games. Maybe then we'll see a difference in the national waistline!"
[Accept]


Is there any OTHER choice?
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XR
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King of Awesomeness
Child of the Sun
Not unless Jack wrote the article - then you wouldn't even get choice no.2.
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