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The Resistance
Topic Started: Jan 29 2008, 04:52 PM (189 Views)
Alex
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S.T.A.G. Creator and Leader
This is the Prologue and Chapter 1 of a novel I hope to finish and have published by end of summer.

http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1381944

Please let me know what you guys think of it.
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Alex Wolf Dante Bourne Max Loft Nero Hunt
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Rogue
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Apprentice Alchemist
Hmm....
Well, I like it.
But, being the harsh critic I've come to be, forgive me if my feedback seems a bit... harsh.
[I don't have an account && I'm horrible with passwords, so I'll just comment here]

First off, an excellent plot. It's a rather spicy twist to what really happened in WW2, and since I love history, I immediately took interest. I quite enjoyed it.

However, how it was structured was like an amature Quizilla story. The quotes were not properly placed, a few puncuation errors, and some of the similies and metaphors seemed as if a 7th grader wrote them.
[Told you I'd be harsh... Sorry!!]

But, all-in-all, I actually enjoyed reading it. Fix these errors, and you'll have publishers practically lining up at your door.
[Trust me on this, my step-mother is an author. She taught me a lot about writing]
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Alex
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Rogue
Tue Jan 29 2008, 8:27 PM
Hmm....
Well, I like it.
But, being the harsh critic I've come to be, forgive me if my feedback seems a bit... harsh.
[I don't have an account && I'm horrible with passwords, so I'll just comment here]

First off, an excellent plot. It's a rather spicy twist to what really happened in WW2, and since I love history, I immediately took interest. I quite enjoyed it.

However, how it was structured was like an amature Quizilla story. The quotes were not properly placed, a few puncuation errors, and some of the similies and metaphors seemed as if a 7th grader wrote them.
[Told you I'd be harsh... Sorry!!]

But, all-in-all, I actually enjoyed reading it. Fix these errors, and you'll have publishers practically lining up at your door.
[Trust me on this, my step-mother is an author. She taught me a lot about writing]

thanks actually thats what i want, harsh critics because you can't get anywhere if people just say "oh its really good" and thats it -_- really annoying.

well i know about the spacing but i can't really do much about that or the quotations, i see how the place them in books and all but i'm still not 100% sure on how to do it, but thanks for the advice, i'll ask my english teacher to show me how.

EDIT: My english teacher also told me about the punctuation mistakes

also can you give me an example of similies and metaphors cause honeslty i don't even remember having any in there lol
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Alex Wolf Dante Bourne Max Loft Nero Hunt
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