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Livilan; Silver Viliveth-- Wingrider
Topic Started: Mar 15 2008, 10:06 PM (367 Views)
Khaleeco
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**Trigger Warning!: Sexual Assault and Physical Abuse are mentioned/described in this profile**

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"...But why? Why do you keep doing this to me? What have I ever done to hurt you? To deserve all of this?"


Name| Livilan

Age| 23 Turns

Gender| Female

Orientation| Heterosexual

Rank(s)| Wingrider in Fire Flight Wing

Weyrmate| Wingrider C'dor, rider of Blue Shuicath

Romantic Interests| None.

Appearance| Livilan is a rather pitiful, pathetic sight to behold. She isn't terrible tall as far as Pernese people go, standing just under 5'5. Thin, practically gaunt, with thin, limp, deep brown hair falling unevenly to roughly her chin, and pale, muddy brown-green eyes. Her nose leans off-center and is flatter than perhaps what it used to be, evidence it has been broken before. Her skin is far from flawless with sun spots, freckles, and scars dusting her sharp, angular face and body.

Personality| Livilan is a shattered, hallow shell of the person she once was. Broken down to dust, the pieces swept up and rebuilt time and time again, she's only just beginning to function once more. Stubbornness, self-worth, confidence-- it's all gone. She tried to fight for herself and lost brutally. And repeatedly. She tried to escape and found herself pinned down and shackled. Now she only seems to hold fear. Even hatred and thoughts of revenge have been smashed to bits. There is only fear, terror, and resignation now. Only time can tell if she'll ever recover any of her former self.
     Livilan is effectively mute. She only speaks to one person, the Headwoman's blind ward named Elphaba. And those words are quiet and hesitant. She absolutely loathes physical contact and will immediately go start thrashing like a cornered, wild animal if she is touched by anyone who is not Elphaba.

History| Livilan was born and raised in Nabol Hold. Her family were primarily farmers, working with other farmers and herders to support one another, raise kids together, and make ends meet. A small family, it was just Livilan, her parents (Vinlana and Liethz), and her older brother Vinethz (V'thz) growing up. Well, them and all the other kids in the area. Her brother, although a rather mean child, was gregarious and established himself as one of the lead kids of the group, gathering a group of close lackeys that always accompanied him.
     Livilan was always a quiet, rather isolated girl. Stubborn as a burden beast, she was defensive and slow to warm up to others, though she wasn't unfriendly. Vinethz never much cared for his sister and it showed. She (and another boy named Alex (Al'x)) were bullied and picked on endlessly growing up, especially by her brother and his close friends. One of those close friends, and the obvious actual leader of the group, was a fostered child of the Lord and Lady of the Hold, Mytho (M'tho). The towheaded boy seemed to find the lower class lot preferred company to his foster siblings. Likely because no one could tell him no or bring him to heel so he could and did do whatever he pleased. Livilan tried to constantly get chores, like herding, that let her be as far away from others as possible to mitigate the bullying. It didn't do much other than isolate her from forming any sort of friendships that may have helped her out later in life.
     The bullying intensified as they all got older. Alex mitigated the worst of the bullying early by joining with the group, leaving Livilan almost completely alone. Mytho was growing bolder with age and with no real pushbacks against his behavior. And then, when she had 12 Turns, her brother was Searched, leaving for High Reaches Weyr. And only then did Livilan realize that her brother's presence, much as he never cared for her, had been keeping the worst of the abuses at bay. Bullying quickly escalated into beatings into outright sadistic cruelty. Livilan became claustrophobic from being shut into chests and small spaces and from even being mock buried alive several times.
     Becoming a teenager added unexpected fuel to her inner fire and she became surly and defiant. Her defensive nature was layered in anger and hurt and she pushed back hard against the boys, trying to hold her own. This only compounded her misery. She found she could not hold her tongue, no matter how bad things got for her. And things just got worse and worse. If anything, Mytho seemed to enjoy having a target that struggled against inevitable odds. So she tried to run away. Several times, in fact. But was always easily tracked down by the young men who had spent a lifetime searching for wayward ovine.
     And then Mytho found a new interest in her. A new way to engage in his sadistic cruelly and delights. Alone, he cornered her in a small, dark root cellar that was located away from other outbuildings or people (it served as an emergency Threadfall shelter) and violently raped her. Before this, she already had a dislike of physical contact. This compounded it. She did not know where to turn to and realized that she really, desperately needed to leave Nabol all together. If she could just leave, even if she became holdless-- it had to be better! Anything had to be better than where she was. She began meticulously planning her escape, knowing that, deep down, this would be the last time she'd be able to try such a thing. It took time and she suffered repeated new attacks-- but the timing had to be right. Her drive to escape gave her a reason to keep going.
     Her chance came when she had 15 Turns. Her brother had transferred to Southern Weyr for a Hatching there. Her parents had been invited and were away. Mytho was at some event at the Hold proper. The boys were in the fields. Her moment had come. Packing supplies, grabbing a runnerbeast, she was off. By the time she was noticed missing, she was long gone. Away from all the horrors of this place. Thread take it!
     Curious as to where her new life would lead the teenager, she overheard talk from some travelers at a way station about a Weyr around Igen and Telgar that had recently had a clutch. Perhaps that was her future. Her brother was Searched, so she perhaps had that ability as well? It couldn't hurt! And she was fueled with confidence from her escape. She asked directions and made her way east. It took some time, more directions, and a few close calls from roaming canine packs, but she came across a cothold with a visiting dragonrider. Apparently this had been his home before he had Impressed. She managed, somehow, with her new-found source of self-confidence, to convince the rider to take her to this new Weyr. The rider agreed to take her-- the Weyr always needed new staff and, well, most people tried to actively avoid his home.
     A Weyr was a new life. An amazing one. Within days, she was Searched officially and she had met and befriended several people, including a rider named A'ron and an apprentice Smithcrafter named Reaver (R'ver), who seemed to show an interest in her. Some of the other female Candidates and herself had even used some herbs to lighten and add some red tones to their hair. Everything was turning around! It was all a new leaf! All of her old problems just sort of melted away. Always assumed to be the bottom of the ladder, she was suddenly on equal footing and it was something she had never known before. But she knew she liked it.

     And then it all came crashing down.

     A brown dragon from High Reaches Weyr arrived, a sevenday or two after Livilan's arrival. She had been near the herding pens, busy with chores, when the dragon landed in the Weyrbowl. Off slid some five boys. Four mop-headed heads of brown hair... and one white blond. Who made a V.O.L.T. line for her. Why? Why, why, why, why, why?! Mytho informed her he was here to take her back "home" to Nabol, where she belonged. Wasn't that nice of him? Wasn't she grateful he had bothered to think of her? He complimented her hair and tried to run his fingers through it. She swatted him away and told him where to shove it. She was free here! She had friends! She was a Candidate! She'd gotten here on her own, using her own wits. They always had told her she was useless, ungrateful, worthless, unlovable, and stupid. But she clearly wasn't! A bit of that old fear appeared when his eyes flashed with anger at her reaction, but he couldn't do anything in public like this... right? Right? It emboldened her. She told him off and turned to head back to the Barracks at a quick pace. She could be protected there. Mytho did not like this new-found confidence.
     Then a green arrived above them. She landed near Livilan as she walked across the Bowl, and off slid a familiar face-- Vinethz. He had failed to Impress at Southern and was now here to try his luck before he aged out. She did not want to be in the Barracks with her brother present! Vinethz was equally surprised to see her. The hell was his useless sister doing at a Weyr? And Mytho was here? Huh. Livilan hurried away to the relative safety of her new friends.
     Mytho was found suitable to Stand and he ended up staying. But nothing happened. Livilan was afraid something would happen, but nothing did. Certainly, her brother was his usual, mean self to her. But otherwise nothing happened. Outside of a few choice comments and leers here and there, Mytho seemed content to leave her alone. M-maybe everything would be okay? Yeah. Yeah, everything would be okay.
     Livilan Impressed Viliveth at the Hatching. The confident silver helped her. Fellow new rider R'ver and his friendship also helped. She was able to ignore her brother (now V'thz) and his friend (now M'tho), who couldn't hurt her anymore. The only time they really even talked to her was to get her opinion on if Alex would be suitable for Impression (she didn't know? Why would she know? She wasn't a bluerider?). Life was going to be okay.

     And then everything came crashing down.

     It was a few Turns later. Life was continuing to go fairly well. Livilan had a sort of stubbornness and independence that put her at odds with authority on occasion. Her dragon didn't help with that problem. At the same time, the silver was constantly butting heads with her rider over her reluctance to seek help when it was needed and to branch out to others. Her initial friendliness on arrival didn't stay and she was fairly distant to those not already close to her. But that really wasn't terribly unusual in this unusual Weyr of misfits.
     Then a new Candidate arrived. Nothing really new. New Candidates came and went all the time. Livilan ignored the arrival and went about her tasks. A'ron was likely to complain about him later over dinner. A'ron did that with all the Candidates. But Liv knew he liked his job. And the brownrider did complain. One of his gut feelings he had on occasion. The one that had (rightfully) picked M'tho out as bad news when the two first met. R'ver likewise had a feeling about the new kid that he didn't like. Their guts weren't wrong.
     It wasn't long after the new kid, Kedar (K'dar), arrived that he and Livilan had their first run in. Whether through talking with M'tho or just his own instinct that told him of what she hid buried in the past, it didn't really matter. He knew exactly what was under her distant, aloof exterior. He saw through the confident silverrider and saw the scared, unsure, terrorized girl underneath. He approached from behind and, with a brief touch to her arm and a whisper in her ear, shattered the outward facade completely. She collapsed to her knees and turned horrified eyes to the tall young man. And saw cruelty and delight glittering in green eyes. It was suddenly as if none of the last few Turns had ever happened. Like she has never escaped. Like she had never made any friends. Or gained any confidence. She was once again alone. Useless. Ungrateful. Worthless. Unlovable. She had never escaped.

     There was no escape.

     She refused, deep down, to fall so completely back to how she was. She fought back against it for Turns. But she didn't seek help. Her stubbornness in the matter, her past where there was never anyone to help her, it all prevented her from doing the thing she should have. Because she did have friends. She had two brownriders who cared deeply for her, one who even believed that he loved her. They would've brought down the Red Star itself to save her. Instead she tried to fight alone. And she had never been a good fighter.
     Livilan became reclusive. She spent more and more time alone in her weyr. Or away from the Weyr on patrols. She tried to take patrols as often as she possibly could get them. Just like when she was young-- she tried to stay away from the torment but only further isolated herself. Her weyr was not safe. It only provided a secured space for her to be preyed upon by this new threat. And then the old threat came back. She began to stock her weyr full of rocks to defend herself, what little good it did her. Because this was her place. She didn't have anywhere else to go. She tuned out her dragon, neglected Viliveth's health and well-being. The silver's hide suffered and cracked, matching Livilan's own deteriorating mental state. Both wasted away. Livilan took to numbly chiseling out and smoothing her weyr's walls to pass the time as even patrols became something she was unable to do.
     She was alone. She kept fighting, but every push back was weaker and weaker. Several times she would find her footing and glimmers of hope would appear. And then they'd be dashed against the ground. She finally submitted to the inevitable and gave in to defeat.
     R'ver tried to save her. He tried so hard. But she refused help. So he took matters into his own hands. He knew if he could just get her out of this place, away from those preying on her, he could save her. He decided to save her from herself, whether she wanted it or not. He approached it in folly and made a bad situation worse. She was too far gone from what he'd come to know. But it would be okay! He just needed to get her out of here! She'd understand later. She'd thank him later! He just needed to get her out of here and-- K'dar. K'dar showed up at that very moment. He boasted of all he'd done to Livilan as the silverrider agonized on the ground in terror of the physical, loathsome contact she knew was coming. R'ver attacked the younger brownrider in a rage and K'dar turned the entire event against R'ver, having his dragon contact the gold Vandrath in a panic. Others rushed to the weyr and R'ver found himself blamed for everything. The story became him attacking Liv and then attacking K'dar when the young Wingsecond tried to save her. The event brought to light just how damaged Livilan had become and she was committed to Healers and Viliveth's well-being became a Candidate chore.
     It was sorely needed. The Healers were infuriated over how someone could become so damaged and never be brought to their attention, but they worked as hard as they could to save the broken mess of a rider. And it did work. The Healers was safe. She was never alone, always under watch. They left her alone but were there with her. She pulled herself tentatively back together. It seemed she would soon be able to participate in weyr life again.
     Then came another Candidate. One of those who come and go. A boy named Loki. Assigned to work on chores in the Healers, he came across Livilan helping out in her own minor way. Another person who, with a glance, saw her to her core.

     "You remind me of a doll... Has someone played with you before, Doll?"

     The Healers wasn't even safe. He didn't even have to touch her and she broke-- shattered into a million screaming pieces on the floor.
     There seemed to be little hope of a full recovery. Or any recovery, really. She was like a dragonless rider, only her dragon was still here and in (relatively) good health. She was still so young, only 23 Turns. No one knew what to do with her other than tend to her and hope her mind could be knitted back together. Again.
     Hope has come in the form of a young blind girl, Elphaba. The two have made a connection and formed a bond. Livilan will speak with the blind girl and the blind girl can touch her without fear of reaction. Livilan has even tentatively agreed to be the younger girl's guide of sorts to lead her around the Weyr. With any luck, this may just be the thing to help Livilan start to get her feet under her once more. Only time will tell...

Dragon| Silver Viliveth

Dragon's Genetic Coding| XRXr ccBbSs

Dragon's Clutch| Delrith 3

Dragon's Description| Viliveth is a fairly averaged sized silver dragon, about 34m (112 feet) long. Her hide is an odd mix of silvers, as if the pigment didn't settle correctly. Her wings are darker instead of lighter, a deep yet lackluster silver while her stomach is much lighter than the rest of her body. In addition to the odd colored hide, the silver's hide is far from perfection. It's marred with scars and cracked hide from long-term neglect on her rider's part. Villy seems distant from Liv at times, not understanding her riders' problems with her brother and his friends, and not understanding Liv's attitude at times. But the dragon herself is somewhat aloof, holding herself up to a standard that will one day prove how she is better than others.

Offspring| n/a

Fitting Song| "Think I'm Sick" by Icon For Hire ; "Paper Doll" by Bea Miller

Star Sign| Taurus (May 17)

Alignment| Neutral Good

Pet(s)|
     Flit(s)| Silver Ketta
     Lunnew(s)| n/a
     Wyurm(s)| n/a
Edited by Khaleeco, Jan 25 2018, 10:43 PM.
Riders
Lauren, gold Vandrath-- Jr. Weyrwoman
A'ron, brown Broth-- jr. weyrleader; Candidate Master
Kiya, silver Anzuth-- Wingrider
Livilan, silver Viliveth-- Wingrider
Al'x, blue Ryogath-- Wingrider
M'tho, blue Temanarth-- Wingrider
Tyrina, blue Zaleoth-- Wingrider
Robyn, green Caseth-- Wingrider
V'thz, green Karanath-- Wingrider
Y'kib brown Talsoth-- Jr. Weyrling
Q'tin-- green Isometh-- Jr. Weyrling
Risxthwiniatopia (Risx)-- green Valianth-- Jr. Weyrling
Weyrfolk
Sylvia-- Master Healer (Dragon), Master Archivist (Lunnew; Wyurm)
Rinous-- Steward
Zocheri-- Weyr Support Staff
Weyrbrats
Arilan, Benedda, Gordis, Kevarob, Myrna, Seyvia, Syloron, Tarena
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