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| an Alana drabble (revised version); from her POV | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 18 2006, 07:22 AM (253 Views) | |
| Keenir | Apr 18 2006, 07:22 AM Post #1 |
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Returned
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~~~ Alana Mareva's POV on that scene in 'Life Interupted.' title: Seeing and believing. author: Rodlox. summary: Alena's thoughts when the chair goes bye-bye. ~~ "Make it go away," Thomas asks me. Seeing is believing. At first the chair does nothing but exist. I see it. I smile to myself and humor Thomas, making believe the chair is not in the room with us. And now, no chair. Unbidden I look to Thomas, then draw my eyes away from him. I don't want to think that he might -- No! Don't think about that. Thomas is real! He is real. He has to be. I need him to be. He's real, even without my need, but I need him as much as he wants the world we came from. I made the chair cease to be. No, please no. I can do without a chair. I cannot do without Thomas. Seeing =/=‚ believing. I made it go away. ~~~~~~ the end. |
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~~~~ My fanfic.net page. My geocities fanfic page. | |
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| Purpleyin | Apr 18 2006, 05:36 PM Post #2 |
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Time Manipulator
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Very nice, though I can't help but feel it'd be more effective without that last line, so it ends on the most dramatic line - or if you added in about how she simply can't wish him away (and is glad of that, the one sure thing?) But really lovely drabble here.
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| Keenir | Apr 18 2006, 05:42 PM Post #3 |
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yes, definately the one sure thing. good point about the strong line....I was thinking more of the symmetry-asymmetry of the first and last lines. I'll make a version2. thank you for your fb. |
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~~~~ My fanfic.net page. My geocities fanfic page. | |
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| Keenir | Apr 19 2006, 02:37 PM Post #4 |
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revised: ~~~ Alana Mareva's POV on that scene in 'Life Interupted.' title: Seeing and believing. author: Rodlox. summary: Alena's thoughts when the chair goes bye-bye. ~~ "Make it go away," Thomas asks me. Seeing is believing. At first the chair does nothing but exist. I see it. I smile to myself and humor Thomas, making believe the chair is not in the room with us. And now, no chair. Unbidden I look to Thomas, then draw my eyes away from him. I don't want to think that he might -- No! Don't think about that. Thomas is real! He is real. He has to be. I need him to be. He's real, even without my need, but I need him as much as he wants the world we came from. I made the chair cease to be. No, please no. Seeing =/=‚ believing. I made it go away. I can do without a chair. I cannot do without Thomas. ~~~~~~ the end. |
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~~~~ My fanfic.net page. My geocities fanfic page. | |
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8:53 AM Jul 11