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an Alana drabble (revised version); from her POV
Topic Started: Apr 18 2006, 07:22 AM (253 Views)
Keenir
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~~~
Alana Mareva's POV on that scene in 'Life Interupted.'

title: Seeing and believing.
author: Rodlox.
summary: Alena's thoughts when the chair goes bye-bye.

~~
"Make it go away," Thomas asks me.  Seeing is believing.

At first the chair does nothing but exist.  I see it.  I smile to myself and humor Thomas, making believe the chair is not in the room with us.

And now, no chair.  Unbidden I look to Thomas, then draw my eyes away from him.  I don't want to think that he might --  No!  Don't think about that.  Thomas is real!  He is real.

He has to be.

I need him to be.  He's real, even without my need, but I need him as much as he wants the world we came from.

I made the chair cease to be.  No, please no.

I can do without a chair.  I cannot do without Thomas.

Seeing =/=‚ believing.  I made it go away.
~~~~~~
the end.
~~~~
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Purpleyin
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Very nice, though I can't help but feel it'd be more effective without that last line, so it ends on the most dramatic line - or if you added in about how she simply can't wish him away (and is glad of that, the one sure thing?)

But really lovely drabble here. :)
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Keenir
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Purpleyin
Apr 18 2006, 05:36 PM
Very nice, though I can't help but feel it'd be more effective without that last line, so it ends on the most dramatic line - or if you added in about how she simply can't wish him away (and is glad of that, the one sure thing?)

But really lovely drabble here. :)


yes, definately the one sure thing.

good point about the strong line....I was thinking more of the symmetry-asymmetry of the first and last lines.

I'll make a version2.


thank you for your fb.
~~~~
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Keenir
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revised:

~~~
Alana Mareva's POV on that scene in 'Life Interupted.'

title: Seeing and believing.
author: Rodlox.
summary: Alena's thoughts when the chair goes bye-bye.

~~
"Make it go away," Thomas asks me. Seeing is believing.

At first the chair does nothing but exist. I see it. I smile to myself and humor Thomas, making believe the chair is not in the room with us.

And now, no chair. Unbidden I look to Thomas, then draw my eyes away from him. I don't want to think that he might -- No! Don't think about that. Thomas is real! He is real.

He has to be.

I need him to be. He's real, even without my need, but I need him as much as he wants the world we came from.

I made the chair cease to be. No, please no. Seeing =/=‚ believing. I made it go away.

I can do without a chair. I cannot do without Thomas.
~~~~~~
the end.
~~~~
My fanfic.net page.
My geocities fanfic page.
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